Monday, January 26, 2009

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Most of you already know all this, but here goes:
My last post was Dec 1st. Four days later, I was told by my manager that due to the slooowwww new home market and lack of sales, and because I was "low man" on the totem pole, I was being "let go". That was December 5th. I went home, put together a resume and signed up with a temp agency that was hiring for Wells Fargo Home Mortgage, with whom my previous company was affiliated. I had plans to leave the following week (Dec 9th) for Canada. So I changed my plans - and left earlier than planned (on the 7th). What else should one do when one is unemployed? Go on vacation! I got there a couple of days early and stayed a day longer than the original plan. I arrived in an unexpected snow storm, and enjoyed the snow all week...except for another freak storm that came in on Friday and put the brakes on our Banff trip. So sad. The girls went out to eat, and to see "Austrailia", then we went shopping the next day at the mall, and finished with lunch. Yes, everything revolves around sitting down and/or eating. The reality for me is this: I don't care what I do while I'm in Calgary, just as long as I'm there.

I returned home to reality on the 16th, followed up on the paperwork for the "new job", and tried to figure out how I was going to shop for Christmas on a suddenly non-existent budget. The other issue is that I could not bring myself to look forward to celebrating, knowing that my immediate future would be different than what I had anticipated. Knowing that a job was assured, but just not knowing the start date, I tried to enjoy what might be the only "down time" I would get for a few months. There were a few days in a row where I didn't get dressed or leave the house. It was nice. I didn't really sleep during the day, but then I wasn't really sleeping during the night, either. Christmas came and went. No family over this year. Jeff and all his family were up at the cabin.

New Years? We invited family over. Jeff and Jeanette had to miss about 5 hours because they had "Baby Jesus" duty at the Mesa Temple. Seems as though the baby Jesus kept being stolen from the nativity...while the grounds were crowded with the viewers of the lights! So they had to get "guards" to make sure he was safe. Jeff said his instructions were to be non-confrontational. I guess he was just supposed to be a "witness" to the stealing...if it had happened on his watch. While we were at home, we eagerly anticipated each Baby Jesus update, knowing that he was safe, and that Jeff (and I assume, Jeanette) were fulfilling their duty on New Years Eve. They came home about 10pm. We popped the poppers at about 9 for the little girls, managed to stay awake until midnight, then went to bed. At least, that's how I remember it. My new job was to start on the 5th, the following Monday.

Keep in mind that for the last 3 years, I would usually get out of bed at about 7:20, and leave the house at about 8:45. This new position, at least for the training, required that I arrive there at 7:30 am. What?! As I did the backward calculation to allow for driving time and preparation time, I realized that I would have to get up at 5:15. What?! Did you all know that it's dark at 5:15? Well, I just started my 4th week, and except for a couple of cases of the "mid-day drowsies", I think I'm doing ok. My hope is that I will be hired on a permanent basis.

The other change was even more difficult than waking up at 5:30 in the morning: Ben and Caitlin moved to Maryland. I could go on and on about this, and how difficult it was for me to accept. But now that it's done, I have decided to live in a world of "pretend". I'm pretending like Caitlin is on a mission. But actually, this situation is better than a mission because we can talk on the phone, or even visit them in Maryland. The only bad part is that we have become really attached to Ben and Caitlin. They have been coming over for dinner almost every Sunday, and we would see them several times a week in the evening. Yesterday was the most boring dinner we've had in quite awhile...white fish, white rice, white tarter sauce, yellow squash, and some green peas for a little color. No card games, no puzzles, no making fun of people on TV...you know, all those fun things we used to do. I saw the saddest thing the other day - I opened the pantry and saw an unopened bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing. A bottle that was purchased specifically for Ben, because it's not just Ranch Dressing that he loves. It's Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing that he loves. I hope it keeps for 2 years.

I have to remember what it was like when I was in my 20's. Every decision was an adventure, and every adventure was so exciting. How do parents let their children ever leave home? I cannot imagine how my parents ever dealt with all my "adventures". Maybe that's why I didn't tell them about my adventures until after they were over? Anyway, logic tells me that Ben and Caitlin will have fun, and be ok, and take care of each other. But my heart is sad, and I will miss them. I suppose I will have to adjust to yet another... ch-ch-ch-change.